Okay, so I am noticing that God has to teach and then re-teach me the same lessons over and over and over.  I suppose I am not the only one.  But goodness, you would think I would just get it already!  For me, the core lesson (or the primary core lesson) seems to be about trusting God and believing He is good.  These are things I “know” in my head to be true.  I believe the Bible.  And the Bible says God is trustworthy and good.  But my heart is often slow—very slow—to catch on.

Well I have gotten a super mega dose of truth this past week as I have treaded the waters of Beth Moore’s study on the Psalms of Ascent.  It is by far my favorite study of hers thus far.  And this past week’s five days of lessons definitely challenging and convicting for me.

Let me back up a bit…to the end of December.  I was listening to one of our Cru conference speakers share about God’s goodness and was challenged by the notion that many of us (maybe even most if not all believers) would say that God is good.  But we all too often stop there.  We believe God is good…to our friends, our family, our church body.  But we do not believe that God is good to US individually.  She helped me to realize that I struggle to trust God because I doubt His goodness TO ME.  My head knows that God is good—the Bible tells me this.  But I so do not believe that GOD IS GOOD TO ME.

God used this week’s Bible study lessons to bring that to the forefront of my thoughts again.  I get so consumed by the worries and details of this world that I easily forget that God holds all things in His enormously powerful hand.  I lose sight of God’s character and forget that He is for me and not against me.  That, as Beth says, “God is with us and for us even when His face and His favor seem hidden.”

 I was terribly challenged by her claim that “…God’s favor and His person are not synonymous.  If our trust is in manifestation of God’s favor rather than God Himself, we will crumble like dry clay when He calls us to walk a distance of our journeys entirely by faith and not by sight….  The difference between trusting God and trusting what God has done is a fine line we easily can trip over….”

Ain’t  that the truth?!

I would like to think I walk more by faith than by sight.  But I know I don’t.  When things are not visibly going a direction I like or the way I want, I rarely choose to trust God more than what I see is—or isn’t—happening.   When His favor seems hidden or is not on me, I immediately question His intentions toward me.   So often I place my security in the blessings that come from God rather than in God Himself.

Lord, teach me to trust in the One who blesses rather than the blessing itself.