I am a blender these days. My emotions are being chopped and puréed and mixed this way and that. Perhaps it is the recent trip to our former home, or the busyness of life, or the transition from mother of preschooler to mother of school kid.

I am feeling it most especially in this moment for some reason and find I’d like to curl up under a big blanket and sleep. Or maybe eat. I mean, what better avoidance is there than to enjoy a helping of choice comfort food and then snuggle in for a long nap?!

I can’t decide if this sadness in the pit of my stomach is because it is true that my baby is growing up, or what. I noticed today that a key difference in kindergarten vs preschool and daycare is that I have less of an idea what goes on in her world each day. I get a few hints here and there but it is just not the same as hanging out and chatting with her teacher or caregiver for chunks of time before or after her day. It is a weird feeling and I am not liking that change so much.

I think it is compounded today because the verdict is in on class changes due to over-full classes and K has a new teacher. She is a great lady and I have heard only good things about her. And she was K’s VBS teacher at one church this summer so she already has a rapport with her and I like that she is a Christian. K is excited. But I feel like it is the first day of school all over again. And plus I really liked the first teacher. I am pretty sure it will all work out okay, but apparently I was not truly as laissez-faire as I thought I was. 🙂 Women and their indecision and control issues….