Well, it’s a good thing I am not 5. Because I didn’t get my way. Don’t get me wrong, I still throw a mean fit, and plenty of them, but today I am more mature. More accepting. Embracing disappointment, while convinced that all hope is not lost.

I *am* disappointed that God did not answer my prayer in the timeframe I had hoped. I asked for something big to happen by April 30th. God said no to my deadline. I know (in my head) that it is because His timing has not yet come to pass. Because I still believe it will happen. But obviously now is not the perfect time.

It’s strange actually, as I feel disappointed but not surprised, even though I really believed I was waiting expectantly for God to move mountains. And He did! Just not quite as many or as far as I had hoped. But what my lack of surprise reveals is that while I know without a doubt he could do it, I also suspected He wouldn’t. Maybe it’s some weird form of self-preservation. Maybe I don’t think He wants to do it, or maybe I think He cares more about me learning to trust in HIS timing, even especially when it is different than mine.

Whatever the reason, I will continue seeking to trust Him AND His timing when His ideas and his clock are so different than mine. It is hard. But I am learning that God is good, even especially when I don’t get my way in my timeframe.

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