Category: Faith


WOW is about all I can say. It is 3 am Friday morning and I am still reeling from the AMAZINGNESS of God. He just provided our adoption profile fee in a week! We just learned of it when we got the mail yesterday. THIS is the big thing I had asked God to provide by the end of April.

I thought He said no to my timeline because April 30th came and went and we were at 25%. (Which was still amazing, just not what I had hoped and prayed for.)

And then I got the mail yesterday. And there was the other 75%. Can you guess what the date on that check is?!?! YES–APRIL 30th! WOW.

We are still reeling in amazement and awe. There is so much more to say. But for now…. WOW GOD! Praise be to God who gives immeasurably more than we could ask or imagine! And who makes the seemingly impossible possible!


When God says No

Well, it’s a good thing I am not 5. Because I didn’t get my way. Don’t get me wrong, I still throw a mean fit, and plenty of them, but today I am more mature. More accepting. Embracing disappointment, while convinced that all hope is not lost.

I *am* disappointed that God did not answer my prayer in the timeframe I had hoped. I asked for something big to happen by April 30th. God said no to my deadline. I know (in my head) that it is because His timing has not yet come to pass. Because I still believe it will happen. But obviously now is not the perfect time.

It’s strange actually, as I feel disappointed but not surprised, even though I really believed I was waiting expectantly for God to move mountains. And He did! Just not quite as many or as far as I had hoped. But what my lack of surprise reveals is that while I know without a doubt he could do it, I also suspected He wouldn’t. Maybe it’s some weird form of self-preservation. Maybe I don’t think He wants to do it, or maybe I think He cares more about me learning to trust in HIS timing, even especially when it is different than mine.

Whatever the reason, I will continue seeking to trust Him AND His timing when His ideas and his clock are so different than mine. It is hard. But I am learning that God is good, even especially when I don’t get my way in my timeframe.

I’m Baaa-aaack!

I am back for real this time.  Or at least I think so—at least a little while.  I have missed you!  I have missed processing this journey called life with you.  Really, I have missed processing at all.  Life seems to get so crazy busy and I just run out of time, or plan poorly, or get lazy.  Or maybe all of the above.

Anyway, I was moved this morning as I was reflecting on something I read in Jesus Calling (a devotional book by Sarah Young).  I love the little kernels of truth she offers in daily doses. Today’s truth focus was from 2 Cor. 12:9–a timely reminder for me that His power is made perfect in my weakness.  I love how she paraphrases it especially, “Rejoice in your insufficiency, knowing that My power is made perfect in weakness.”

It is easy for me to gravitate toward focusing on my insufficiency–whether my personality or body-shape flaws, or those material things I lack–a fancy car, maid-service, personal trainer and short order chef.  (If any of you are interested in filling one or more of those roles, let me know.  The salary offers a plethora of zeroes, with lots of commas, following a zero.)

But in my most recent past–as in about 2-4 weeks–I have been focusing very intentionally on God’s SUFFICIENCY. It is not about what I lack, it is about who He is. There are some specific situations in our life where He will HAVE to do something.  Our need is so far outside the realm of possibility for us, and my own inadequacy is so great, that I am in a place of utter dependence on the Lord.  We all are.  All the time.  We just often don’t remember that as we foolishly, time and again, fall into the trap of believing self-sufficiency actually exists.

So for now, I truly will rejoice in my inadequacy.  As an American, I am overly blessed–probably even spoiled–and rarely encounter my need for God in such a crystal clear way.  So today, I will embrace my awareness of my inadequacy for what it is, “a rich blessing, training me to rely wholeheartedly on God” (Young, p.125)

Okay, so I am noticing that God has to teach and then re-teach me the same lessons over and over and over.  I suppose I am not the only one.  But goodness, you would think I would just get it already!  For me, the core lesson (or the primary core lesson) seems to be about trusting God and believing He is good.  These are things I “know” in my head to be true.  I believe the Bible.  And the Bible says God is trustworthy and good.  But my heart is often slow—very slow—to catch on.

Well I have gotten a super mega dose of truth this past week as I have treaded the waters of Beth Moore’s study on the Psalms of Ascent.  It is by far my favorite study of hers thus far.  And this past week’s five days of lessons definitely challenging and convicting for me.

Let me back up a bit…to the end of December.  I was listening to one of our Cru conference speakers share about God’s goodness and was challenged by the notion that many of us (maybe even most if not all believers) would say that God is good.  But we all too often stop there.  We believe God is good…to our friends, our family, our church body.  But we do not believe that God is good to US individually.  She helped me to realize that I struggle to trust God because I doubt His goodness TO ME.  My head knows that God is good—the Bible tells me this.  But I so do not believe that GOD IS GOOD TO ME.

God used this week’s Bible study lessons to bring that to the forefront of my thoughts again.  I get so consumed by the worries and details of this world that I easily forget that God holds all things in His enormously powerful hand.  I lose sight of God’s character and forget that He is for me and not against me.  That, as Beth says, “God is with us and for us even when His face and His favor seem hidden.”

 I was terribly challenged by her claim that “…God’s favor and His person are not synonymous.  If our trust is in manifestation of God’s favor rather than God Himself, we will crumble like dry clay when He calls us to walk a distance of our journeys entirely by faith and not by sight….  The difference between trusting God and trusting what God has done is a fine line we easily can trip over….”

Ain’t  that the truth?!

I would like to think I walk more by faith than by sight.  But I know I don’t.  When things are not visibly going a direction I like or the way I want, I rarely choose to trust God more than what I see is—or isn’t—happening.   When His favor seems hidden or is not on me, I immediately question His intentions toward me.   So often I place my security in the blessings that come from God rather than in God Himself.

Lord, teach me to trust in the One who blesses rather than the blessing itself.